THOUGHTS

show details Feb 25 (1 day ago)


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Sometimes,
I wonder why I fight so hard.
Especially on days when my body won't work the way I think it should. Those days where a headache isn't really an ache but the anxiety of something being terribly wrong, feeling locked within a prison of thought. Those sort of days where getting up is physically so tough not because you lack the drive to but because you want to so desperatly it's heartbreaking.
Yea, those days I wonder about. Am I fighting because I don't want to dissapoint those that love me by giving up? Or do I fight for myself because... Well... In the end it's worth it?

I dunno,
Honestly-

I just look back on the days I love, the days where I might have that ache but I also am at a table with a circle of friends laughing hysterically, eating delicious food and gulping down amazing wine. Thinking about days where that ache lies there but love surrounds it, having this amazing man I share my life with cuddling up next to me and kissing the back of my bare neck, our cat at the edge of the bad with purring eyes staring at us, and wanting to stay there forever.

Those days of cloudless blue skies and blossom petal winds.